I hate commencements!

It is May, and our thoughts toward things endemic to this season (at least in this hemisphere):  Spring, new life, romance, vacations and the dreaded rite of passage, the commencement.

I hate commencements.  They are boring, hot, pointless exercises designed to satisfy friends and family.  I have endured more than my share, having suffered through multiple events as a student, teacher,  usher, volunteer or staff member at various schools.  As students file in with their ill-fitting robes, I wonder if this is training for the lemming-like regimentation that is de rigueur for humans.

Almost always, the speakers are interchangeable.  Their messages are usually the same.  There are musical interludes ranging from the dignified to simply awful.  Then there is the awarding or conferring of degrees, followed by the interminable handing out of diplomas.  As I stand in the back and watch the Principal or President or Dean shake 5,000 hands, I can't help but wonder:  How many of them used the toilet but afterward didn't wash?

As a parent, I must attend yet another dreaded graduation.  But this time, I am going to claim it as my own.  Since I know exactly what the speakers will say, I will bring my pad and pen and pretend to take notes.  But in reality I will be planning.  Planning for my own future.  Writing down more goals.  Perhaps eavesdropping on a conversation between two of my characters in some yet to be written script or story.  Either way, I am going to use those wasted 90 minutes for something that I can put into action.

What about you?  What are you going to do during and after your next boring meeting, training seminar, ceremony or commencement?

B Positively Positive!