I was about to enjoy my 15 minute break, 3 minutes of which had been eaten by a computer problem, another co-worker's question and my trek across the office, down the hall and into the break room, where TV plays 24 / 7, where vending machines take your money and don't vend, and where coworkers sit and complain about their supervisors, gab on their cell phones and whine about the worthless men that float in and out of their lives.
I did a U-Turn before I reached the break room.
A detour led me to the Smokers' Area, outside. I have never been - nor will I ever be - a smoker; however, I have always felt that smokers are better behaved. They may share their noxious fumes with you (which they can't control; nobody can tame smoke); however, they know how to leave you alone. I found refuge among the lepers, the dispossessed, the pariahs.
...Until a co-worker walked up.
"Did you hear that they're going to outlaw all guns next week?" he asked.
"Oh really...?" I answered, as I glanced down at my watch.
Ten remaining minutes had suddenly become five. Yet in those five minutes, he managed to cover nearly every conspiracy known to man (or at least to this man): U.F.O.s, future President Ron Paul, The Trilateral Commission, Gun Control, Michael Bloomberg control, the Michael Jackson Estate control, Bladder Control, the Feminist Agenda, the Liberal Conspiracy, the Conservative Juggernaut, and once again...U.F.O.s.
By the end of our brief non-versation, I felt like bumming a cigarette. And I don't even smoke.
As you might guess, I am not a big fan of Conspiracy Theories or their Theorists; however, I think there is definitely one consipiracy, the most pervasive one of them all: I believe that there is a coordinated, worldwide movement to deprive uninterested people of their coffee breaks.
Plausible? Perhaps. Probable? No.
But all I know...is that I want my 15 minutes back!...
No comments:
Post a Comment