Attack of the Zombies (a true story...somewhat!)

     "WATCH OUT!"

     The creature shuffled toward us steadily, its glazed eyes targeting us like a hawk hunting his next meal.  From just a glance I could tell that he was beyond sick.  His clothes were but rags.  His feet were filthy and his hands were covered with blood.  His eyes were crusted over with infection.

     "Dad, what are we going to do?" my young teen son asked.  I looked at him; he wasn't ready to this.  For the first time I felt ashamed at the safe, comfortable, middle class lifestyle I had given him.

      Deftly, I snatched the axe from the corner of my garage.  The creature had begun to charge and I knew I had one shot.   I placed my right hand near the top of the axe (my left was at the bottom),  placed the head over my shoulder,  lifted the blade straight up and hurled it forward.   As if in slow motion, my right hand slipped to the bottom of the handle.  The razor sharp edge, hurled by my strength and Newtonian physics, hacked into the zombie's cranium.  His skull split open, revealing a mass of rotting, grey and red brain matter.  The axe, finding little resistance in the weakened flesh, continued downward through the neck and halfway into the chest.  I pushed.  The monster fell backward, away from me.  I yanked out my weapon and beckoned to my son, who was in shock.

     "Come on" I said.  "Let's find some more!"...

     Actually, I didn't kill anybody.  The axe in question does sit in my garage, but I only use it for chopping firewood.  I'm good for 10 minutes before my testosterone fails; then I go buy some wood from the old man selling on the side of the road.

     And the zombies...they're real.   In real life they're called:  Christians, Atheists, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, Baptists, Methodists, Democrats, Republicans, Right to Lifers, Pro-Choicers, Independents, Northerners, Southerners, African Americans, Whites, Asians, Native Americans, citizens, aliens, educated, uneducated, Gun Lovers, Gun Controllers, Anarchists, etc.  If I have neglected to name at least one group of which you are a member, then please feel free to fill in the following blank (offense intended): ________________________.

      Now it is time for my disclaimers:  I believe that most people are basically good, and that we have the right to have our own opinions and affiliations; however, I also believe that we each transform into The Walking Dead when we take the lazy way out.  I receive robocalls from both Liberal and Conservative Candidates who blame all of this country's problems on their opponents.  I have friends who swallow everything that comes from their pastors, including (philosophically) things that belong in his toilet.  I have friends who are so vehement in their atheism, that their anti-religiosity has become a religion unto itself.  I know citizens who think illegal aliens picking fruit are stealing their MBA-level jobs.

     I know myself.  I postpone decisions.  I extend deadlines.  I table serious discussions until later, which often never comes. 

     Perhaps we are all creatures of bad habits.  Perhaps we all need to kill off our lazy selves, the unproductive tendencies, the waste.  Perhaps we need to whet the edges of our axes, by improving our skills, getting additional certifications, expanding our knowledge base and leaving our comfort zones.  Perhaps we need to challenge our leaders and organizations when they fail to "practice what they preach."

     All I know is that the zombies are coming, along with the life-sucking / monster-creating force that creates them.  So get your axe ready and join the hunt!

     Always B Positive!